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Thread: just for a lol

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    261

    Re:just for a lol

    Hahahahah hahaha "I Say" Hahahahahhaaaaa..
    Oh by the way a good evening to all our Blondes hahahahah

    Nearly as Funny as the one Cliff told me on Sunday, dial 9 for an outside line indeed-- hahahahhaa :laugh: :laugh: :lol: :laugh:

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Endeavour Hills, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    Posts
    1,324

    Re:just for a lol

    A SHORT STORY.
    Once upon a time. A guy meets a girl. They date for six months. The guy proposes to the girl. The girl refuses. The guy lives happily ever after.................I love happy endings. :dry:
    Live & let Live, Love & let Love, Rock & let Roll, plus related clichés.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Endeavour Hills, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    Posts
    1,324

    Re:just for a lol

    :huh: OOOPS! Stuffed it up. The girl was a blond.
    Live & let Live, Love & let Love, Rock & let Roll, plus related clichés.

  4. #4

    Re:just for a lol

    Oh!!! Grrrr I am blownd err bloned err blonde....

    This is an even upperer...is there such a word as that? huh?

    **One day, a tuba player wanted to torture the drummer behind him, so he hid one of the drummer's sticks.
    After looking around for a few minutes, with a frantic, wide-eyed expression, the drummer fell to his knees, flung his arms wide, and screamed to heaven:

    "Finally! The miracle, after all these years! I'm a Conductor!"


    **If a dollar bill was laying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were standing in the corners, who would get the money?

    The drummer with bad time since the other three don't exist.

    **Q: Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

    A: So they can park in the handicapped spot.


    **Did you hear about the guitarist who was going to a gig and locked his keys in the car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out....

    Oh haha my belly hurts...just joking guys ha

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    261

    Re:just for a lol

    I'll Bet your daddy was a drummer huh ?
    heheheheheheeeee

  6. #6

    Re:just for a lol

    My daddy was a drummer ... I just thank the Lawwwwd above i took afta my momma ...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    261

    Re:just for a lol

    Let me guess she was a fine Fiddler ? lol hehehheeee

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Greenvale, Vic
    Posts
    927

    Re:just for a lol

    I came home from work last night, & my wife demanded I take her out to somewhere expensive.......so I took her to the PETROL station!!!!
    A Good Dance is worth the time it takes to get there.
    "Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
    A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Echuca/Moama
    Posts
    349

    Re:just for a lol

    Good One HaHaHa

  10. #10

    Re:just for a lol

    English is a crazy language.
    There is no egg in the eggplant
    No ham in the hamburger
    And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
    English muffins were not invented in England
    French fries were not invented in France.

    We sometimes take English for granted
    But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
    Quicksand takes you down slowly
    Boxing rings are square
    And a guinea pig is neither a pig or from Guinea.

    If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
    If the plural of tooth is teeth
    Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
    If the teacher taught,
    Why didn't the preacher praught.

    If a vegetarian eats vegetables
    What on earth does a humanitarian eat!?
    Why do people recite at a play
    Yet play at a recital?
    Park on driveways and
    Drive on parkways

    You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
    Of a language where a house can burn up as
    It burns down
    And in which you fill in a form
    By filling it out
    And a bell is only heard once it goes!

    English was invented by people, not computers
    And it reflects the creativity of the human race
    (Which of course isn't a race at all)

    That is why
    When the stars are out they are visible
    But when the lights are out they are invisible
    And why it is that when I wind up my watch
    It starts
    But when I wind up this poem
    It ends.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Ferntree Gully
    Posts
    1,135

    Re:just for a lol

    Damn right, and if Poles come from Poland what's the story with the Dutch? :lol:
    Rob Ewart
    Victorian Rock'n'Roll Dance Assoc

    www.VRRDA.org.au

    It's your Association, get involved. Good ideas are always welcome.
    Make sure your R'n'R club or dance school is getting best value.

    .

  12. #12
    Essex Guest

    Re:just for a lol

    A man with a 25 inch long penis goes to his doctor to complain that he is having a problem with this cumbersome instrument and has had more than one complaint.

    "Doctor," he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?"

    The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who may be able to help you."

    So the doctor gives him directions to the witch. The man calls upon the witch and relays his story. "Witch, my penis is 25 inches long and I need help. Can anything be done to help me? You are my only hope."

    The witch stares in amazement, scratches her head, and then replies, "I think I may be able to help you with your problem.

    Do this. Go deep into the forest. You will find a pond. In this pond, you will find a frog sitting on a log. This frog has magic. You say to frog, "will you marry me?"

    When the frog says no, you will find five! inches less to your problem."

    The man's face lit up and he dashed off into the forest. He called out to the frog, "Will you marry me?" The frog looked at him dejectedly and replied, "NO." The man looked down and suddenly his penis was 5 inches shorter.

    "WOW," he screamed out loud,"this is great! But it's still too long at 20 inches, so I'll ask the frog to marry me again."

    "Frog, will you marry me?" the guy shouted. The frog rolled its eyes back in its head and screamed back, "NO!" The man felt another twitch in his penis, looked down, and it was another 5 inches shorter.

    The man laughed, "This is fantastic." He looked down at his penis again, 15 inches long, and reflected for a moment. Fifteen inches is still a monster, just a little less would be ideal. Grinning, he looked across the pond and yelled out, "Frog will you marry me?"

    The frog looked back across the pond shaking its head, "How many times do I have to tell you?

    NO, NO, NO!!!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,566

    Re:just for a lol

    For us guys needing enlightenment on "Words Women Use ....."

    Here goes ............

    "Fine" - this is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are ....RIGHT ..... and you need to shut up, quick smart! Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks .... this will cause you to have one of those arguments........

    "Five Minutes" - This means half hour. It is equivalent to the "five minutes" that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash.

    "Nothing" - this really means "something" and you should be on your toes. Nothing is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you ..... inside out, upside down, and backwards........ so be very careful or scared!!

    "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) - this is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over ...."nothing" and will end with the word "fine" ...........

    "Go Ahead" (with normal eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or " do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "raised eyebrows and go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by " nothing" and the "fine" ....... got the message here guys??

    "Loud Sigh" - this is not actually a word, but is a non verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there arguing with you over supposedly "nothing" .......... heard that before guys? Sounds familiar?

    "Soft Sigh" - again not a word but a non verbal statement. It means she is ........... content. Your best bet is not move or breathe, and she will stay ...... content. Good advice, guys!!

    "That's OK" - this is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. "That's Ok" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. At some point in time you are going to be in one mighty trouble with her ........

    "Thanks" - a woman is thanking you. Do not FAINT!! Just say you are welcome ......

    "Thanks a lot" - This is much different from "thanks". She says "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing" ....

    "Please Do" - this is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have or have not done ......

    Now you women see what we guys have to suffer from??!!

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

  14. #14
    Essex Guest

    Re:just for a lol

    Buggsy I have to say I thought my joke was better But there is possibly some merit in yours hahaha

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,566

    Re:just for a lol

    Well, thank You Essex ........ on the hand, have I misunderstood the real message (women talk ..) here? A bit of Venus and Mars thing - if you get what I mean.

    Couldn't resist a comment or two with your "lol" posting - all I can say is OUCH!! ......... it really hurts our man pride in more ways than one.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,406

    Re:just for a lol

    Told to me the other night.
    Paddy lands himself a job in the desert working with the arabs.
    On the first night an arab pulls out two coins, puts them on his eyes and says he's going to sleep.
    Paddys asks why the coins.
    The arab replies " See those buzzards up there, I dont want them pecking out my eyes while I sleep."
    Paddy is concerned and searches his pockets for some coins.
    Finding none he decides to sleep with his head in the sand for protection.
    The next morning, the arab wakes first and seeing Paddys bum in the air, cant resist making the most of the opportunity.
    Paddy wakes and yells "Pluck all you like, you're not getting my eyes".

    It was funny when I first heard it.

    Compliments of Kev

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    121

    Re:just for a lol

    I just received this in an E Mail and kacked myself laughing. Much to the amusement of my co-workers.

    The Oil Crisis In Australia

    It is easy to understand how we came to have in oil shortage here in our country.

    Nobody bothered to check the oil.

    The reason for that is purely geographical.

    Our oil is located in Bass Strait and off the coast of W.A.

    And

    Our dipsticks are located in Canberra.
    :lol:

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Endeavour Hills, Victoria, Australia, Australia
    Posts
    1,324

    Re:just for a lol

    A young couple was making passionate love in the guy's van (you know, shag
    carpets, big double mattress in the back... all that) when suddenly the
    girl, being a bit on the kinky side, yells out: "Oh big boy, whip me, whip
    me!"
    The guy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not
    have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window,
    snaps the aerial off his van and proceeds to whip the girl until they both
    collapse in sadomasochistic ecstasy.
    About a week later, the girl notices that the marks left by the whipping
    session are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor
    takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having
    sex?"
    The girl is a little embarrassed but admits that, yes, she
    did.
    Nodding his head knowingly the doctor exclaims, "I thought so, because in
    all my years of doctoring..... You've got the worst case of van aerial
    disease that I've ever seen."
    :laugh:
    Live & let Live, Love & let Love, Rock & let Roll, plus related clichés.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Posts
    261

    Re:just for a lol

    Newly weds take off for their honeymoon in the country in thier trusy clapped out Valiant, when suddenly around 10pm that night in the middle of nowhere "clink plonk" splat" the ol girl gave out, the husband says to his wife, ahh well sherl cos thats what her name was Sherl, best we walk it ay girl?, Sherl says I think we'll have to but these wooden legs of mine might not hold out to long.
    So off they go, about 2 miles up the road they see a barn, husband says hey sherl how bout we bunk up in that barn till morn then we might get a ride in to town if we're lucky, Sherl says yes lets!
    Mean while 2 old fellas on their way home from the pub full as a public school, one looks up and says to the other hey Fred hows about we stay in your barn tonite i dun think i can make it home I'm to drunk the other says yep george think thats a good idea. Fred says to George hows about you go make us a bed while i has a wizz,in the bush here mate! . Done says George about 2 mins later George comes out of the barn with a stunned look on his face, Fred says George whats wrong you look stunned?, George turns around to Fred and says Mate your not going to believe this but theres a bloke in there making love to a Wheel Barrow!!!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,406

    Re:just for a lol

    Put on your best New Zulland accent when reading this one.

    Helen Clarke, Prime Munistar of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by
    the tillephone.

    "Hillen, its the Hilth Munistar here. Sorry to bother you at this hour
    but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex
    fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the
    entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the
    week."

    Pry Munistar: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all
    those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"

    Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from
    abroad...Brutain?..."

    PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"

    Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"

    PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."

    Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion
    condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know
    how bug the Kiwis really are!!"

    Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of
    need. Three days later a van arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.

    A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10
    unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold.

    She then notices in small writing on each and ivery one.........

    ....

    MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM

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