Guitar Jokes
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.
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How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Give him some sheet music.
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What do a vacuum cleaner and an electric guitar have in common.
Both suck when you plug them in.
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How do you make a bass player turn down the volume?
Put a chart in front of him.
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How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else\'s light.
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What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
Counterpoint.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it.
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What\'s the best thing to play on a guitar?
Solitaire.
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How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
Don\'t bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.
In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
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Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?
\"Melt down\". You got me man. It is gonna take me a while to come back on this one.
Maybe the time has come for the \"Lead Guitarist\'s\" to band together and get all the light bulbs plugged in so that everybody can more easily see how very little drummer\'s do while sitting on their bums, hiding behind their cymbals all night. :blink: :laugh:
I\'ve never encountered a smelly drummer yet! hahahahaha
I meant, that drummers have to work harder than any other band member:
Drummers have all their gear to lug in, set-up, play....then pack up and put it all back into their vehicle. I\'d say drummers would have be fitter than guitarists. Guitarists can just stand there, try to look cool and play. Drummers have to play using both arms and both legs. I\'ve seen chubby guitarists, but no chubby drummers.......
Good one Shaun, but the reflection is actually the edited version that the audience hears.
They wouldn\'t be able to dance to the original timing provided by the drummer. Sorry Dags, had to get this one in, Shauny baby is getting technical and really thinks that I play guitar.!!! :laugh:
Oh, I forgot....... Sillyfool, unless you play an instrument, you are taking a big risk teaming up with the \"wanna bee\'s\".
I recommend that you take up an instrument, because you can have so much fun mixing with us other muso\'s and spend as much time as you enjoy dancing, hanging \"s...t\" on drummers.
Lyndon: hmmmmm you class me as a \"wanna be\" eh? I don\'t need to take up an intstrument to \"mix with muso\'s\", as a lot of musos are friends of mine anyway. :P
If anything I\'ve been hanging it on guitarists. Where have you seen me hang s**t on dummers here? B)
I just enjoy teasing people (in a good-natured way). Right Shaun?
Just because I\'m not a muso, doesn\'t mean I can\'t add silly comments here............does it? :huh:
Lyndon you call what you do Playing an instrument do you ? lol
I\'d say it\'s more the other way around the instrument plays you ..Think about it... do we realy play them ? I think NOT
Look at it this way your instrument =$ your amplification=$ your Up keep eg: strings pics etc=$ your time=$ My Question is who\'s playing who ?.
and ya don\'t got to be bent to understand that !
Sillyfool doesn\'t need to play an instrument.. I take it sillyfool is a she! ( god i hope it\'s a she ) well she obviously has a thing for drummers and understands how sensitive, honest,loyal and romantic we realy are Don\'t forget we have rhythum..And thats ok with this lil Drummer ! lol
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