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Thread: Mr Smooth

  1. #1

    Mr Smooth

    Opinion
    Here is an item for the guys to read, about dancing.


    Mr Smooth
    We all know him well. The guys are all in awe of his skill - and just a teeny bit jealous. The ladies' night just wouldn't be complete without having just one dance with him. So what is it that gives some men the edge on the dancefloor?
    When it comes to dancing a social partner dance such as swing, salsa or rock n roll, us gals can sometimes get the rough end of the stick. While our partners are having a grand old time, the lady can sometimes find that her dance is degenerating into a catapulting exercise, where she is the unwilling missile.

    However, nothing compares to the exhilirating glow that you feel when you step off the floor after a dance with Mr Smooth. If a lady has lost herself while she's been dancing with you, and she's been able to put aside all other thoughts besides the music and her body movements in response to your lead - then brother, you got it goin' onnnn!

    So just how do you ensure your lady adds you to her list of memorable dance partners? Here are a few tips, gathered from ladies who know!

    Firstly, the initial approach is important. When you ask someone to dance, you're asking them to step across a certain threshold of intimacy - particularly if you are strangers. How many times have you walked down the street and had someone ask if they could hold your hand? For most of us, even the hotties amongst us, this is a very rare occurrence - so don't treat it lightly! If you can convince your lady from the outset that you'll be gentle and respectful, and that a dance with her would be an honour and a pleasure - you'll go at least half way towards ensuring she says 'yes' the next time you ask her for a dance. Remember to ask and not assume, and guide her onto the dance floor. If you turn your back on her as you charge ahead to find a good spot on the floor, you leave yourself wide open to the shock of turning around to find your partner dancing with your best mate, who's a little smoother than you!

    Once you've negotiated your way onto the floor, the next decision becomes what opening approach to take. I'll give the guy's a 'heads up' here - much hinges on how well you know the lady, and whether you've danced together before. It's important to remember that even the most fabulous lady dancer may be intimidated if your opening move is a triple spin with a back flip landing into a forced split. Remember, your novel hand hold may throw her even though she's done this move a million times before!

    So guys take it easy for the opening of the dance. A well respected gentleman dancer from LA recently told me that he uses the first few bars of the music to do basic steps to gauge the lady's skill level. He judges how firmly or softly he needs to lead and then slowly picks up the pace of the dance. All songs tend to build towards a climax in the musical phrasing. By the time he reaches this point in the dance, he is extending the lady so she is working at the edge of her repetoire, but still within her comfort zone. "It is important that your partner is comfortable during the dance, and is not anxious, but there's still definitely room for a challenge".

    This brings me to another point - the challenge. Most people go out social partner dancing to enjoy themselves. Competition is not usually on the agenda. However, as with all activities requiring application of skill, many of us like to feel that we are improving and continually extending our skill level. However, there are many aspects involved in becoming an excellent social partner dancer. There is leading and following skill, musical interpretation and innovating by embellishing and individualising even simple moves. You don't necessarily need to pull off comlex move after complex move in order for your partner to have a memorable dance. Mr Smooth often takes the challenge of making a single well-connected unit of himself, his partner and the music - and 'dancing' rather than executing moves.

    But don't get me wrong - a few fancy moves never hurt anyone...

    Or did they?

    It always amazes me that a man can lead a lady into performing such a huge range of contortions - and all with his arms and hands! There's no special eye signals, there's no whispered instructions - it's all about the lead. By all means, go for the fancy moves - you'll certainly get the ladies talking. Just bear in mind that gentle leading often works better than force, and smoother movements achieve more than sudden jerky movements. If your blockbuster move doesn't work the first or second time, then three strikes and you're out. Unless the track you're dancing to is skipping, the same move again and again is not usually warranted.

    So good luck guys - enjoy your first dance as Mr Smooth. Get out there and make the dancefloor sizzle. If you consider the above advice, you're sure to have our undivided attention. Just one final word of advice - don't touch the hair, Mister!

    Words by Kiran Deol

    Photo by Hazel Hankin

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    melbourne,victoria,australia
    Posts
    597

    Re: Mr Smooth

    everything written in your post is so true ,i grew up listening to music.
    rocknroll and pop music,elvis,beatles,creedence,but only decided to dance9 years ago.
    imagine most men at there first rocknroll lesson!rigid,tense,frozen,robotic.
    must keep going to lessons,dont give up,why this backstep?i hate it.
    all part of your basics sonny,sez the teacher,mmmm,keep trying.
    i ask a national dancer,wheres your backstep? oh ,in there somewhere.
    the fun begins,hops on a sat nite,pack the chilly bin,share cars with club members.
    ah,the ladies!heaps of dances,zig zag all over the floor,trying to impress!.
    ow! my shoulder,your leads too strong,she complains.
    thanks for the dance,he says,wont ask her again,he mutters under his breath.
    my teacher used to follow me around it seemed,tap on shoulder,er terry your out of time.
    what!how come?im laughing,having a good time!yes, but your out of time.
    so you get it guys,a good lead and knowing the difference between,on beat,off beat.
    will take you a long way to dancing with the ladies where you both enjoy the moments hence your night.
    but,all this takes time,so be patient,keep attending lessons,if you dont?.
    we stagnate on the moves we have,same old,even you will yawn at yourself.
    5 years at least for an average male to find the timing he wants,women learn quicker,why?pass.regards. smile,

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    416

    Re: Mr Smooth

    hey guys, i think it is a good thing to learn different moves, also a good clear lead (if the lady is attentive) will go smoothly, as i am not the greatest of dancers as i like to enjoy my dance not to compete i may mess up a bit, although i don`t attend any lessons i try to follow, enjoy the great fun we have doing it, who cares if you back step and big deal if it takes a little time to get the beat, always remenber we all started the same way! i think a few forget to quickly!
    * Dancing Feet are Happy Feet * OMG!!!!! some days my feet are killing me !!!!! hahaha

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    melbourne,victoria,australia
    Posts
    597

    Re: Mr Smooth

    morning baby ruth, nice comments and fair, but the original post and my own were meant pacificlly for men.
    re:the title,mr smooth.but to clarify my comments, a back step is designed for basic steps,plus the males use it as a pause to set up the next move,i did state women learn quicker as i feel most have a natural ability to dance,finally anything you do in life,you will get better at over a period of time.
    timing is the most important part of the art of dancing,fancy moves dont matter if we are not in time..
    i appreciate your post and hope we can catch up sat nite for a dance,we will have to meet first!.
    ask rhonda to point me out,regards,terrence

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,566

    Smile Re: Mr Smooth

    Not so quick, "Mr Smooth" Terrence 7 - I 've been eyeing for a dance with "my" Baby Ruth for a long while now .......... I might yet be lucky at the Nash tomorrow night or maybe at the Gully on Sunday arvo. Take a number, Terrence 7 ..........LOL

    Good article - I hope I have now learned a few tricks to put to practice this weekend. Must remember timing, gentle & clear lead, good connection, musicality, dance frame, improvisations etc etc ........

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    melbourne,victoria,australia
    Posts
    597

    Re: Mr Smooth

    thanks jitter!guess ill have to get in line!and you dont need to remember anything,its all there.
    some males have that natural ability to dance too,much like latino races,born to dance!and what i did not mention earlier,young dancers that are taught early by top coaches or teachers look so good.
    and that applies to young kids in any sport,like golf,squash,taught the basics early.they can have a five year layoff and still slip back in naturally,where as us humble adults need a bit more intuition!.
    get rid off little habits,but at the end of the day,enjoy! last post for me,get out there and smile1

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Posts
    122

    Wink Re: Mr Smooth

    Well! This definitely raises the bar for guys venturing onto the dancefloor this weekend! Hope it doesn't scare any away! LOL...
    I know this is a post for the guys, but have to put in my "2 bobsworth". Thanks to Aliciasrockindaddy for forwarding what is a very good article on the important job of leading, and being well-mannered.
    Like BabyRuth, I dance for sheer enjoyment, but it certainly IS more enjoyable to dance with a "Mr Smooth". Makes a girl feel she can be "Ms Smooth" too - even if its only for a the length of a few songs (ha ha!). As stated by the lady who has written the article, Kiran -

    Quote Originally Posted by aliciasrockindaddy View Post
    Opinion

    ....So guys take it easy for the opening of the dance. A well respected gentleman dancer from LA recently told me that he uses the first few bars of the music to do basic steps to gauge the lady's skill level. He judges how firmly or softly he needs to lead and then slowly picks up the pace of the dance. All songs tend to build towards a climax in the musical phrasing. By the time he reaches this point in the dance, he is extending the lady so she is working at the edge of her repetoire, but still within her comfort zone. "It is important that your partner is comfortable during the dance, and is not anxious, but there's still definitely room for a challenge".

    Words by Kiran Deol
    This, I think, is a good "modus operandi" to employ..."try before you fly?'' if you like. Then there will be no nasty accidents or bruised egos.
    Mr Smooth can accept the mistakes I make in a gracious and friendly manner...as we all know we are only human....
    I, and I'm sure many other ladies, have experienced having an arm almost torn from its socket when a partner assumes you can do his "back-to-front-dip-and-twist" move (that he made up himself). Remember, guys, apart from some Amazonians, we generally are the weaker sex physically.
    A caution for the "follows" here too: don't assume, as I did once on a crowded dancefloor - that your partner is going to end the song with a flamboyant dip, only to clutch on in panic when you find out that was not his intention....before dragging him down onto the dust-covered parquetry - to sprawl in undignified splendour for all to see (and laugh at!). I thought it was really funny (unfortunately I am like that even if seriously injured). But my dance partner was mortified - having never been shown up like that.
    Perhaps a good thread for this forum, on a lighter note - would be for members to relate their most embarrassing "gaff's on the dancefloor. We can all then feel a little relieved that we are "only human"...allthough...some people out there dance SO well...I'm sure they are "Cyborgs" (haha!)
    See y'all on the floor (will expect PERFECTION, nothing less, from Bugs and Terry...of course!)
    MsM XX

  8. #8

    Smile Re: Mr Smooth

    thank you all very much for your comment, in relation to my original post. I never thought it would generate so much interest. But hey , if it help improve some peoples dancing , then it is only for the best, once again ,Thank you all.

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