If it was not for the tireless Jitterbug a heap of women would have gone home unsatisfied this weekend.
Uhm, what I mean is these women would not have had a dance at places like Little M’s, the ‘Nash and the Middle.
The complaint I have been hearing all weekend is that female dancers feel that too many guys are sitting on their thumbs and not asking women too dance.
I always encourage woman to ask men to dance. After all, us blokes are a bit vulnerable and plenty of us have felt the bite of having our invitation to dance knocked back. Now I am hearing that guys are declining these invitations from women. What the Â… ??
Dancers, how do you see this? Am I listening to the wrong women? Can it be that our male dancers lack something - confidence, stamina, motivation, hormones?
No in all seriousness there are too many ladies left sitting. I think there are a lot of blokes who think its too "sissy" to dance. In my small dance club there are a couple of women who have husbands that refuse to come along because they dont like dancing (I wonder if they have even tried). The funny thing is when you talk blokes into coming along, they get there and generally have a really good time. You do however see it at a lot of venues where the ladies dance together because the men dont get up. Not too sure what the answer is. I will say this though and probably get shot for it, if I ask a woman to dance and she says no, I never ask her again, but thats just me - a stubborn butt head. I will add that I have never knocked a lady back for a dance but have occassionaly asked them to give me five minutes respite whilst I rest the shoddy knees, but have always made sure I have got back to them. My guess RobeE its a combination of things, confidence and so on but you watch some guys who hardly dance then when they do get up they are really good, maybe motivation is a big thing??.
Glad you raised this topic again, RobE. Superbat wrote about it not so long ago but I donÂ’t think it generated too many replies then. She suggested a few simple proposals such as ladies wearing a little badge etc to signal they are available to dance.
I love dancing – Full Stop! But I do wish some “leads” would share the load a bit on occasions. It’s an under-statement I think, but it unnerves me a bit when I look around the room to see all these very fine ladies obviously wanting to dance and yet guys standing around quite oblivious to the predicament at hand. But for whatever reasons it seems the message is not getting through to the guys! Or for the ladies to do something about it.
In places like the Gully & Monash, I can understand some guys (or some ladies) just like to relax, have a drink, play pools and listen to the bands. They may be either not dancers or just not into dancing much. There are also guys who are just shy so RobE's suggestion to ladies to ask guys for a dance is simply sensible and practicable. But what I find unfortunate sometimes are guys who are quite “discriminating” as to who they will ask for a dance or the “Supa Dupa” dancers who find it beneath them to dance with anyone below their dance level. Unfortunately that sort of behaviour can also apply to ladies as well.
It would therefore help if ladies do the right by the blokes. It takes some courage to ask someone to dance and to get knock back can be quite brusing to one’s ego. Like what Tggsb said – last Saturday night, it happened to me. I really thought she might appreciate a dance if I politely asked her for one. I have seen her dance perhaps just a few times during the night. But guess what – she just said “NO”. And she didn’t bother to tell me why. I wouldn’t feel hurt at all if I understood why she couldn’t dance when I asked , for example, she may have danced enough or want to have a rest or maybe she would dance with me later in the night etc. But to just say “NO” is not acceptable in my view. That’s not proper dance etiquette as I have been taught.
Any simple answer to the above? Not sure other than everyoneÂ’s being bit more sensitive and open to dancing with others apart from our usual favourite dance partners. And being polite when asking and in refusing a dance. But I do understand there will be couples who prefer to dance by themselves and I donÂ’t think itÂ’s wrong either.
Everyone. I agree with your comments . Every time I get asked to dance . (Which is constantly) I never say no. I just say maybe later.I keep getting hounded every where I go . sometimes even normal women ask me to dance.I usually have to leave dances early because my feet hurt so much.Its getting to the point were I stay home so as not to dissapoint anyone. After all there is only just one of me.Hey, how about a bit of thinking out side the square. Im proposing a radical idea here. If all the guys learned doubles we could do volume and go through all the ladies in half the time.Or, maybe a ticket system like at the safeway deli dept. Or a tag system like killer kawalsky and Brute bernard had in the old channel nine world championship wrestling ... mmm??..Any other good ideas ???.
I agree there are not enough men who want to dance, or they just want to listen to the music, I was at the gully on Sunday and one lady who I dance with said to me, that there is not enough men to dance with. just Robe, jitterbug, and myself and one or two others, I think there are many issues that are in play here, I the fact that some men are shy, and feel that they cann't dance, to the music or just feel that if they don't know how to dance, and think it is silly to dance, and will not learn cause they also think that it is not manly to able to dance.
Well...why not throw in a few Burlesque nights instead??...I imagine the emphasis then will be on drinking and watching, rather than dancing....problem solved!!
(No offence intended to the Sisterhood....strut your stuff Ladies!
...I'm a big fan of Chicago, Cabaret, Les Girls, Priscilla, etc. etc)
:blink: B)
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain.
Eeram - coming from a good Catholic girl yourself, it is pleasing indeed to hear of your progressive views. Goodonya! Might I also say I have found you always sensitive and open to dance requests. So you are in fact part of the solution, not the problem we are talking about. Thank you too for our many dances which I enjoy very much. Let's Swing it too, babe!
Icon - you poor bugger! You are in such great demand at dances, you 've got no where to hide .......... I am sure other guys must be very envious of your ..... you know, like "God's gift to women" type appeal. Seriously, you always come up with the goods in dances. And good fun to have you around at gigs. But I am just a little curious - do we really have "abnormal or not normal" ladies in our dance circle who you say have been pestering you all this while?
:laugh: :laugh:
This has been a problem for over twenty years in the Rock'n'Roll scenes......never enough males who can or want to dance. Girls, do what I did, learn to lead and make your own fun with your friends on the dance floor!
Happened again last night at the Monash, and probably this arvo at the Gully - what I mean is not enough dancing for all the gals. Like Cat said it's been like this for the last 20 years so I suppose it's nothing new really.
I would encourage more gals to ask guys for a dance if you are not getting enough dancing. I had a few gals asking me for a dance last night and I was more than happy to do so. In fact I felt very proud and privileged to have been asked for a dance. Thank you ladies for the dances - you know who you are!
Can I say it's perfectly OK to ask a guy for a dance in our dance circles today. And guys - you know what is the right thing to do if get asked. If you have to say "no" because you are tired, make sure you promise to ask them for a dance a bit later OK?
Well done to RobE, the 2 Waynes, GAG, Don, Terry, Jazza etc who danced the night away making a lot of the gals very happy and well satisfied on the night
lol
Bookmarks